martes, 6 de julio de 2010

Me, Myself and I

Tonight something is messing with my mind, something isn’t right, and is giving me trouble to sleep. Tonight I’m not feeling well, I feel kind of sad. And it’s complicated because there must be nothing that bothers me right now. I hate myself for feel the way I feel so attached to a feeling, so attached to someone or something. So attached to the past and so close to my heart. I can’t say I’m fine because I’m not feeling fine. I can’t stay here forever wondering where you are what you are doing and who are you doing it with. I have to let you go, not too much, but just away enough to find myself and learn to live without someone by my side. Without the drama and the love that you gave me. Without the kisses, the touches and the moments. Without me smiling for you, without you making me happy. I have to find happiness by myself; learn to fly without your winds. Learn to live by my own. I’m getting tired of depend on someone else. I’m getting tired of being happy just when I’m being accompanied by you… or someone else. And now when I realize that I’m happy just when I’m with someone else
I want to change this, I’m tired of being alone and not being happy with it I know that someday you all will be gone and I just have myself to get through my life. I know that I have to learn to love me, to love loneliness and learn to love abuse I have to learn to love me myself and I, cause at the end is all that matters. At the end my hand will be the ones that build my dreams, my voice will be the one that calms me down in the difficult nights, my song will be the ones that I will want to sing, and my screams will be the ones that break the silence in my head. At the end, there’s something that’s is true and no one can deny it, there’s a moment where everything ends, where you’ll be lonely, by yourself, and I don’t want to get to that moment and find out that I never learn to be alone, that I never learn to get through my problems by myself, that I never learn to love me and love just me. I don’t want to be the one that depends on someone else. I want to be the one that reach a goal and fight for it by my own, not having support in someone else hands, not being help to climb the mountain, I have to be strong enough to realize the way to get to the top of the world by myself. I can’t be the one that cries in someone else shoulder, I can’t be the guy that says “ I can’t” and I’m not gonna be that guy, I’m not gonna be the one that depends on you, the one that depends of someone else money or someone else words, I can be the words that I need, I can be the love that the world have deny me, I can be the opportunity that no one gives me, I can be whoever I want and I can do whatever I need to do. I don’t want to be alone, but I know I’ll be alone sooner or later. I know that I’m happy by your side, but I know that I don’t want to be this sad person that is mad and numb when you’re not around. I know that I want to be independent; I want to find happiness far away from you arms, something different of you that complete me when I’m lonely. I know I have to break free, find new ways of joy in my life; I have to find myself because I don’t want to be lonely when in this world the only thing that remains is me myself and I.

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